Kylie's Birth Story

It's taken me a week to write this! And it's super long. Michelle, since we still haven't talked I know you'll be at least one person who will read the whole thing ;)

It's probably pretty obvious, but this post may be TMI for some people. But I really appreciated reading similar posts from my friends before I had a baby, so I'm writing one.

I do wish I had written this post in the hospital because I'm already forgetting some things, but I guess it was more important that I slept.

Some background info: We didn't make a birth plan, because we really didn't have strong opinions about a lot of things. I knew that I would love to have an epidural. However, because I have spinal fusion in my lower back I knew it would be unlikely that an anesthesiologist would even try. I also knew that I didn't want to be induced without an epidural, because everyone tells me that induced labor is much more painful. I was open to IV drugs, but skeptical about them working and concerned about how they would affect me and if they would be worth it.

On to the story...

So since I was scared to be induced, when I hit 40 weeks by my period due date (on the 1st) I started to get antsy. I did not like finding the balance between not wanting to be induced and not endangering the baby by waiting too long. But I was pretty much ok with letting my doctor make that decision. I had an appointment on the 5th (the day before my ultrasound due date) and I was still just 50% effaced and not dilated. So my doctor made an appointment for a non stress test (monitoring the baby's heart rate for an hour) on the 8th, which eased some of my worry. I'm pretty sure I lost my mucous plug when she examined me. I didn't see it until after she left the room, so I couldn't ask her about it, but it looked exactly like I've read it described.

All that evening and the next day, I just felt different. My stomach was tight all the time and I had a lot of brown discharge. We were pretty sure it was happening soon, but also didn't want to get our hopes up. The next day (the 7th) I really felt different. I was having a lot more contractions than usual and started having some watery discharge [MISTAKE - It occured to me that the watery discharge could be my water leaking, but I did not call my doctor. This was not smart, I didn't know the risks in having your water leak for a long period of time]. We were pretty sure it was going to happen that night, so Josh went to bed early. I couldn’t sleep because of reflux (with the earlier bedtime I had eaten too close to lying down - SO glad those days are over!). So I sat in the recliner and cried my eyes out to the Biggest Loser (that show kills me), while writing down my contractions. They were almost exactly 7 minutes apart between 10 and 11pm. I started to really think this is for real, but it could still be a while before I needed to go to the hospital. So I decided to try again to get some sleep. My contractions still weren't that painful, and I figured they would wake me up when things really got going. But when I used the bathroom, I found that my discharge has turned to pink. I thought this might be normal, but I wasn't sure so I decided to stay awake and keep an eye on that.

Now I really wasn't sure what to do. Do I wake Josh up? Do I pack and shower? I watched some more TV online, tried to sleep again, and then I decided to pack and shower and still time my contractions. By the time I was out of the shower they were 5 minutes apart but still not very painful. I still wasn't sure what to do. I had tested negative for Strep B, and I thought I couldn't have an epidural, so there was no reason to rush to the hospital. But I started having a lot of blood coming out and I really didn't know if that was normal, so I just decided to go. 

I woke Josh up around 2:30am and he was soooo out of it. I told him he had plenty of time to shower if he wanted - he said "no that's ok" and got in the shower. I checked my packing list about 10 times, paced around the house while he got ready, got my towel and garbage bag to sit on in the car and off we went!

By the time we got in the car I started having some pain in my right hip with each contraction, but no pain in my abdomen. We got to the emergency room, I said "hi, I'm in labor" and everything gets a little blurry after that!

By the time I got to a room it was about 4am. I told them about the clear discharge and they did a test. Sure enough, it was amniotic fluid, but they felt my belly and said I must not be leaking very much. I think this was the point that Josh called my parents. We didn't want to wake them up until we were sure, and we didn't think it was necessary to wake anyone else up in the middle of the night.

My first nurse was not particularly talkative or informative. She came in and told me that they would start Pitocin at 6am. I asked why?? (remember - I was scared about induced labor) She just told me that's what the doctor said and couldn't tell me any more than that. By the time they started the Pitocin, my contractions had slowed way down (I thought I was just sleeping through them!). I was only 1cm, and I wonder if I hadn't been leaking if they would have just sent me home. Thankfully there was a shift change, and the nurse I had during the day (and most of my labor) was great. She answered all of my questions, but didn't put up with my "I can'ts" :). She explained that since my water had been leaking for so long the baby had to come out TODAY and that's why they were doing Pitocin.

Now I'm very fuzzy on the timeline for the rest of the day. They kept changing the Pitocin because the baby was not handling it well. Eventually they stopped it, I think around the time I got my epidural. When they stopped the Pitocin I thought for sure I would end up with a C-section. But my body got into gear - maybe the epidural helped relax me?

That's right... I said when I got my epidural! I asked to see the anesthesiologist right when I came in, and I think she came in around 8. She was so great. She was very blunt with us - she was willing to try the epidural, but half the time with fusion patients she can't get it in. And even if she can get it in, most of the time it doesn't work or is spotty. I was just excited that she was willing to try! Right when she came in, I started to get very nauseous and a little panicky. She suggested I take some Zofran (for the nausea) and IV pain meds to calm me down for the epidural. After she conferred with my OB and came back in, she pretty much told us that she would not give me the epidural unless I took something to calm me down. As I said before, I didn't have very strong opinions, and I was pretty much willing to do what the doctors suggested.

The IV drugs affected me exactly how I had feared. They did not do much for the pain, but they made me groggy, confused and whiny. I was SO out of it when she put the epidural in. It took her a long time, and at one point I heard her tell the nurse that she didn't think she could do it. But I was too confused to care - I was just frustrated trying to understand what the nurse was telling me to do with my feet and arms. I realized later that I never opened my eyes the entire time she was talking to me! WHY do people do narcotics for fun, ugh.

While she was putting in the epidural, the woman next door to us was screaming her head off! In my confused state I just thought it was funny, but Josh was begging God for my epidural to work :) And it did! It was so amazing... I felt NOTHING but could still move my legs. I was ecstatic. I told everyone who came in and asked how I was doing... my epidural worked! The anesthesiologist told me that she wanted me to feel no pain, and I took her up on that. I went through two bags and 4 of the extra syringe things. She came to check on me regularly, and made sure I was ok before she went into 2 C-sections. I could move my legs until the 4th extra syringe. I am SO grateful! I know women have been doing this with no meds for all of time, but I was so glad I didn't have to. I was only 3cm when I got my epidural, so I still don't really know what labor feels like!

My water did finally end up breaking on its own... I can't remember if it was before or after the epidural, but it was one of the times the nurse was checking me. I'm thinking it was before, because I definitely felt the pop! It was green, so we knew early on that there was meconium in there. After I got my epidural, I suddenly felt a flood and looked down to see a lot of yellow fluid. I called the nurses station and told them my cathedar had fallen out! Turns out it was just more amniotic fluid. It happened again a little later... I heard something dripping and there was a yellow puddle on the floor. Labor is gross :)

I think I slept a lot after the epidural because the rest of the day went by pretty fast. I was still expecting a C-section, but it seemed like I got to 8cm in a pretty short time. And then I was stuck. The doc kept coming in, the nurses kept checking me, and it was just 8. We hit the 7:00 shift change and I was sad to lose the nurse I'd had all day.

By 8pm I was still not completely dilated, but they decided to push anyway. They kept saying something about a lip that they could push around her head. The pushing did not go so well. I started getting very nauseated right before we started to push, and as I said - it makes me panic. I felt like I had NO idea what I was doing. They kept saying push toward the ceiling and I did not know what that meant. I was also stressed because they wanted me to tell them when it was time to push, and with the epidural I could barely feel my stomach tightening and was never really sure. They told me I was doing a good job - but I'm sure they tell everyone that. I was just confused. At one point they tried the tug of war thing. All I could think about was that my arms were too weak to hold onto the towel and I was going to let go and make the nurse fall on the floor.

About an hour into the pushing, the doctor said something about the cord being around her neck. I'm not sure if they had suspected that the whole time I was in labor or not - but it seemed that was why she was having a hard time coming out. She wasn't handling the pushing well, so they had me on oxygen between pushes. I was a total baby about that, because breathing in my own hot air made me way more nauseated. Josh ended up just holding the mask a few inches from my face.

About an hour and a half into pushing I lost it. My body seemed to be shutting down. I was incredibly nauseous and throwing up in my mouth, my face was on fire (they kept taking my temp but I never had a fever), I had gotten congested and was coughing through the pushing and I was shaking uncontrollably. But still felt very little pain! I was really starting to feel like I must be doing something wrong and I couldn't follow all of their instructions. A few tears came out and then I just couldn't stop them. I kept telling the nurses I was fine, I understood that the baby was fine, I wasn't scared, etc. Thankfully Josh knows that the flood of tears just happens sometimes and he ignored them. I kept crying and shaking like that until about 15 minutes after she was born.

After 2 hours of pushing, Josh says something suddenly changed - the doctor decided she had to come out NOW. We've never asked what happened. But suddenly there were about 8 people in the room, the doctor pulled out a suction (she called it a kiwi) and in 2 pushes she was out. I was too tired to understand what was going on or to be scared. I remember hearing her cough and knowing that was a good thing. The doctor said something about 2 necklaces and the nurses were talking about her hair and long legs. Right when she came out I did have the presence of mind to tell Josh to get the camera, so he captured the craziness.

I remember hearing her scream, but once they swaddled her and handed her to Josh she was quiet. Once I had stopped shaking and the doctor was done working on me, Josh handed her over. It was the most surreal moment. I couldn't believe how cute she was. I expected her to be purple and pruny!

We tried to nurse but she wasn't interested. Then they whisked her away for a blood test (because of the meconium) and whatever else they needed to do.

Those 15 minutes after she was born were probably the most confusing, overwhelming and emotional minutes of my life. Hearing my baby cry, watching my husband hold her, feeling the doctor sewing me, shaking and crying... it was really crazy and I felt completely helpless.

It seemed like the doctor was sewing me for a long time, so I asked how bad my tearing was. She said "third degree." I thought it was like burns... first is the worst. Nope, it's the opposite. When I got to the recovery room and a nurse came in to check my stitches she said "are you the one with the third degree tear that went all the way?" I said, "I don't know, am I???" I thought because of the long time pushing my tearing might not be too bad, but I guess because of the suction in the end I tore quite a bit. But it doesn't bother me too much now, so it definitely wasn't as bad as some people!

After they took her away, Josh brought me a Sierra Mist and it tasted and felt so good in my stomach. I could have drank 3 of them! Because of the time my only option for food was a box lunch. I was still feeling pretty icky, but I knew that I would feel better if I ate, so I finished every bit of it. It seemed like in no time at all my epidural had worn off, they were helping me use the restroom, and I was wheeled into the recovery room. I laid on my back for the first time in months and slept like a rock!

It all didn't seem real until they brought her back to me a few hours later. They helped me get started nursing and then left us alone. That is the time I will really remember.

And I have to add that Josh was great. Some of you know that he has a lot of anxiety about hospitals and we really weren't sure how he would do. I had some friends who would have come if we needed them. (I don't know if there's anything else that makes him anxious... maybe my driving? :) ) He said he was uncomfortable for the first few hours but got over it. I think he was even able to sleep a little bit. While I was pushing they had him hold my head up and hold the oxygen. No one was pushy about making him look or cut the cord. The doc just said "ooo I get to do one!" He's also not a baby person, so it's been so sweet/funny for me to watch him with her. You'd think he'd been taking care of newborns for years.

And that is how Kylie came to be! What a crazy terrifying awesome thing childbirth is!